You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
