at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
