I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
