i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
