You can't motorboat a personality
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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