He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
