dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
