1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
