If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
