either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
