I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
