Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
