Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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