I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
