pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
