Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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