When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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