I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
