She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
