You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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