Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
