I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
