Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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