You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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