so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
