3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
