Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
