He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
