Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
