seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
