I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The adults are the big ones right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
