What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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