Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
