idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
