that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
