he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
