Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
