I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
