I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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