Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
