i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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