Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He had one of those small greek statue penises
sarcasm needs its own font
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
