While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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