He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
