peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
