im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
