HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
