party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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