she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
nutella sex= disaster
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
