whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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