Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
